And the clock keeps ticking...

A week ago, I would still anticipate, or rather, wait patiently. Have gotten used to counting days, with something to look forward to at the end.

Not quite anymore. Or rather, the wait, is killing me. inside. somehow.

If I could have a remote control, I would not hesitate to press the forward button. But then again, I might as well rewind and edit, instead of having to go through this ordeal. But no, I would not have trade this experience, or maybe I would. But which bits would I erase? Hell, why bother. Only a fool believes the past can be changed.

really, IF I could, I would:

FAST FORWARD TIME

but since I cant, plan B is:

FREEZE MY BODY

and wake up when it is time.

I know both my superbly engineered plans are destined to fail.

I DONT HAVE A FUCKING PLAN C.
.