Discovery of the Day- Nadia

Nadia is a female name, most commonly given in Europe, the Middle east and North Africa. It has origins in Russian, Arabic, Bulgarian, Spanish, Italian, Greek and Serbian.

In the Western world, its origins are in the diminuitive of the Russian name Надежда, Nadezha which stands for hope.. Nadine is a French form of this diminuitive..

In the Eastern world, Nadia means announcer or caller in Arabic. It also means 'love of my life' and you are my world'. Not only this, but Nadia also means young plant such as a young tree or flower.

-courtesy of wiki

I knew that my name had both a European and Middle Eastern-Eastern touch to it.. I was named after Nadia Comeneci and also for it's arabic definition.. but boy.. 'love of my life' and 'you are my world'??

I may be Nadia.. but Nadia Mydin I am..

Christmas..

Caught in the frenzy of unwrapping christmas presents on the joyous anniversary of Jesus Christ's birthday, a moment of pause occurs and my energy dwindles down and if it were a curve, it would be curving downwards.. an anti-climax.. If only I could press the rewind button and play and continue to do so... but well, the next one is probably not until 365 days to come..

HO HO HO.........................

When one is meant to be reading..

Instead, she scribbles on her notes and comes up with..

'My heart is meant to pump blood, and that is its only function'..

approx 6 pm
on a dark friday evening
living room

Of Violins and Tantrums..

Yes, I play the violin.. No, I played the violin.. if playing horribly counts.. and I miss my violin.. I want my violin.. which one mummy? The full size one, the 4/4.. Not the 3/4.. That's too small for me now.. If you can find a way to un-fragile it, seal it nicely and if it doesnt weigh to much, pass it to Azrieal will you? Thank you! I love you mummy.. Or if not.. what say you.. I buy a new one? Online.. And.. it gets delivered to my doorstep! Now you wont have to worry.. If not.... I'll throw a tantrum.. like I did before.. and you remember my violin tantrum.. surely you cant forget that one!

Which one? The one with the Vanessa Mae concert! When you promised to take me but you had forgotten.. And I ended up harassing Papa at the golf course.. And you had to take me in the end! And no mummy, I did not fall asleep.. Not at all.. I remember every detail.. She had an electric black and white one.. I ended up with a classical one.. (courtesy of Atuk), and Violin lessons.. That i detested.. but persevered for 6 years..

There.. my tantrum days.. Boy, was I a horrible child.. This evening, someone asked me whether I have thrown a tantrum in his presence.. The last tantrum I threw was.. 12 years ago.. Now, I just threaten to throw em.. And of course I wont throw anymore tantrums.. Coz.. like you said.. I kan dah besar..

I'd still like a violin, if not my violin..

Roles

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"Sometimes people are aware of the rules, and they attempt to conform to them but, at at the same time, they try to indicate their lack of commitment to, perhaps even their disdain for, the role they are playing. Whether committed or cynical, individuals on many occasions improvise their performances, attempting to cope with uncertainty about what is going on, with disagreements about what should be happening, and with competing expectations of their various role partners."

Peter A.D Weeks
in the Microsociology of everyday life..
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Strangers, we were...

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And I liked it when we were..

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Unrequited

"If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart."

-by buvy? or someone..

I came across that.. and well, I believe some people might be able to relate to that..

My dearest ***, I never really understood what you meant, and I may never do.. but well.. this is for you.. and maybe, even for ******* too..

Angelic Lies and Demonic Truths

The past, sometimes creeps up to the present.. Be it in a different context altogether.. Though, there are times, when they are perhaps, best left behind..

Angelic Lies and Demonic Truths

Lie
Constructed by demons
Implanted in humans
Ingrained

Lie
A choice
Though comforting
Creates discomfort

Truth
A fact
Is eternal
Surfaces with conscience

Truth
Protected by angels
Will prevail
In due time

Angels and demons
Truths and lies
Coexist

Angelic lie, demonic truth
Substances mixed
Oxymorons

Angelic lie
Sweetens the buds
Is a candy
To the child

Demonic truth
Shocks the senses
Faced by those
With bravery

9th June 2008
1741 hours

The sight of lovers..

As I walked up the hill, a pair of lovebirds were just about part.. In between kisses and words, they clung to every last second in the little bubble that they both share, before setting off to their independent bubbles.. And completely oblivious to passer-bys like me.. With a smile on my face, I moved along, appreciating a lil bit more of frank sinatra's lyrics that I was plugged to..

Then I come home, perched on the kitchen counter.. Listening to another lover's tale.. With the cup of tea in hand, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.. I can't help but smile..

Perhaps, this would be all I need.. :)


To john and jane doe, and jit..

I dreamt of a pair of dancing shoes

For real, I did.. last night.. ballet shoes to be exact.. the pointy ones with the wooden blocks and lil bow at the front, and the long satin ribbon that goes around the ankles.. the dream brought me back to the final piece I wrote in York, whilst being an occupant of A219..

Dancing with the Clouds

As I look above
The clouds move
High above me
With every blink of my eye

In front of me
Beyond me
Surrounding me
Engulfs me

Makes me feel
Like a little girl
Mesmerised
In wonder

If I were a little fairy
I’d dance with the clouds
Move with the winds
To unchartered territories

I’d pirouette
And spin
And twirl
On my little toes

The sky is my stage
The clouds, my floor
I’d dance barefoot
And adorn my dancing shoes

I am the dancer
I am the audience
In my enchanted world
With the world below me

The bird in me
The dancer in me
In unison
Amongst the clouds

18th June 2008
2214 hours
Looking out A219
Just getting dark

For me, with you in mind..

`

The "Good for you!" evening..

An evening initiated for dessert was laced with rather deep conversations, catalysed by the dim lighting at a far corner for a table of four..

Prior to that, a statement that probably had more similarities with comments intended for the wildlife was made by the modern civilised lady she ought to be! Or is the lady merely returning to her unruly roots?

And.. the supposedly lyrics from a song.. "if i were to run away.. i know i'd never look back"..

But the ultimate one liner statement of the night had to be none other than "Good for you!"..

Not quite 21 on the 21st!

My mummy turns XX years today.. (never ask a woman her age, nor her weight!) Happy birthday mama! Or um.. in the ways of the English.. "Happy Birthday Mother dear!".. Wishing you a lovely day and a wonderful year ahead..

She's currently in Dubai.. tad bit far away from us.. but well.. she's with Papsters, K ya ngoks an panda.. or is it in Bahrain with Irman and Mak Elaine and family? either way.. hopefully it'll be a good one!

And as for Papa leaving your birthday card behind.. you've got to give him the credit for getting it a week in advance.. and I didnt even have to remind him this time around!

Again, Happy Birthday Ma! lots of love from all of us at home..

From L to P in 2 1/2 times..

I ought to know.. I have done it one too many times..

Thinkers and Dreamers..

My father once said that there are only two types of people that exist in this world - Thinkers ands Dreamers.. I do think.. doubt that makes me a thinker though.. and of course I have dreams too.. but that does not reduce me to solely a dreamer.. Perhaps I am in between.. where I seem to always have been..

MOO.....

My dear brother, Muzzamir has a knack for coming up with the most random and often, craziest of comments.. Tonight's was..

" I wonder who decided to go to a female cow and said I'll drink whatever that comes out of this"

Laughter in Numbers..

Three two and one,
Formed a table of six,
Amidst a dozen dishes,
And the melody of voices..

The occasional laughs we shared,
Were echoed once more,
In sequence they were,
One after another..

"Short cut answers short cut marks",
"Checke,checke,checke" the DJ goes,
And this is only the minumum,
Of Banoism at its maximum..

Colonial Times
Indian Oasis
Amir Anis Dr Bano Farqhan Imran Nadia

A modern fairy tale..

I am neither a princess, nor a cinderella.. only a pumpkin..

A promise embedded in carbon..

This afternoon, a hand shake with a lady that I am rather fond of, symbolised a promise that I would keep, and deliver.. Though it is meant for the future, I fear I might face certain challenges in delivering this promise..

However, a lady of the similar profession "read" me once, and suggested that I am one of principle.. and indeed, I may be.. or rather, I try to be.. And in regards to promises, I do not believe in making them, unless they are meant to be kept and delivered.. Hence by principle, I will try my very best to deliver this little promise..

One fine day.. the dull carbon grains of today will be converted to one that sparkles..

PENGO

Pengo is my nickname at home.. Often mistaken for similarities with penguin.. Nope.. Pengo is actually short for Pendek Gemok.. so it becomes PENGO.. (Pendek is a malay word for short, and similarly, Gemok translates to fat).. Yes, I am indeed both vertically and horizontally challenged..

So the tale of pengo continues.. and today's episode was witnessed by mom and the actors were Miss Pengo herself and one of the creators of the nickname, Mr Muzzamir Mydin/Mir..

Mir: Do you wanna join my karate class? Teaches you how to breathe properly.. And you can slim down!
Pengo: ........................
Mum: Hahaha..

Honestly, when have I ever been slim? I have been round for as long as I remember.. Perhaps I am rounder now.. or a lot rounder.. Still, I was never UNround! I was a small-ish baby though.. weight on my birth cert says 2.67 kg.. But Mr C once aptly described a baby's physique as "belly on legs".. so I have always been round!

PENGO is ROUND.. Round translates to bulat.. and my sister lina/kak dik calls me bulat too..

Driving down memory lane

Earlier this evening, i dropped mum off at the mosque.. instead of heading home immediately, i took a right turn and drove around the familiar neighbourhood of kawasan melayu pj, where my maternal grandparents still reside.. a place that holds most of my childhood memories.. as i was driving down the road, a rush of nostalgia hit me.. the roads were so familiar.. yet, different.. the roads that i used to cruise on 2 wheels, i now cruise on 4.. instead of the little machine i had, i was maneuvering a bigger complicated one.. yet the roads felt just as familiar..

i still remember the evenings i spent cycling.. be it on my own, or with my childhood friends.. or the then boy that i had a crush one.. or perhaps there were 2 boys? oh i cant quite remember! no, i think i cycled with one, whereas the other, i cycled pass his house tad bit too frequently, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.. (doubt i ever did!).. i remember sneaking out, making excuses so that i could go cycling.. there was just something about cycling then.. it was almost an obsession.. a daily habit.. the way the air feels when i paddle my lil feet.. i felt like a proud lil child, in control of a machine.. and i felt free.. like a bird..

instead of taking the usual route home, i took a different route.. and passed our old house.. and i remember walking down the street with my sisters, and getting chased by the neighbour's dogs.. and passed the lane that we used dominate, with our roller blades.. where the tar road once skinned my knees.. and my sisters rushing to sneak me into the house, hoping mum would miss us, for fear the sight of red would anger her.. well we did roller blade at 10 pm that evening.. and if my memory doesnt fail me, it was a week night.. and we were supposed to be in bed, not roller blading! but.. boy, roller blades were defo the in thing then!

i then weaved my way out of the familiarities, and came home, to our fairly new home.. and went online.. and chatted away with a fairly new acquired friend.. and went to proceed to have supper with newly acquired friends too..

thens and nows.. and eventually, the nows will become thens..

Prelude..

A blog (a contraction of the term "Web log") is a Web site, usually maintained by an individual, with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video. Entries are commonly displayed in reverse-chronological order. "Blog" can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog.

- courtesy of Wikipedia

They say there is a first for everything.. "They" however.. is vague.. subjective.. But one begins somewehere.. and this is where i begin.. in an attempt of penning down my thoughts.. converting whatever lil waves that run in this head of mine to a medium.. To/For whom? Most likely only myself.. and maybe to/for those that are idling.. Doubt any of my future pieces are worth reading, to be honest! And.. for what purpose? I have yet to find out..

The thought-pen-paper process to me was alien and foreign.. for as long as I could remember.. until recently.. an incident that occurred in late December 2007 found me sat in Paul at Gloucester Road.. with a pen in hand and channeling my thoughts to some random pieces of paper that i found in my handbag.. upon completion of the thought-pen-paper process, I finished my coffee, took a deep breath and walked out the boulangerie/cafe feeling a thousand times better..

The year 2008(so far) saw me frequently left alone with my thoughts.. and some times they drove my up the wall.. kate, my ex-neighbour would aptly describe these moments as "doing my head".. and reflecting, it is the times that I sat down, penning the thoughts that later, found me in control of myself.. rather than allowing my silly lil head to take the best of me.. The whole process, I have come to discover soothes my soul.. so much so that writing becomes somewhat habitual.. Soon after, I found that typing is way faster and neater than writing.. (well, typing is essentially a "technofied" form of writing!)

Today, marks a significant moment in this journey of mine called.. 'life'.. To some, if not many.. age is but a number.. but to me, some numbers carry more significance than others.. for example, 12, 16, 18, 21, 30, 40, and 50.. To commemorate by big 2-1, I had multiple events to mark this significant age.. from a dinner on Wednesday to a tea on thurs, a dinner on fri and the grand bling, glam and papparazzi party last night.. it doesnt stop here though.. two/three more to come.. the grand finale will mark the end of it all.. however, in the midst of the numerous celebrations i orchestrated, i conveniently left out an event for today, the most important day of em all! This afternoon found Lina, my sister and moi rolling about on my bed, figuring what I ought to do for the day.. Mum approached us and saw her daughters (except for k ya ngoks) doing absolutely nothing.. the following conversation took place:

Lina: Ma, nadia bodoh planned everything except for today
Me: Yeah.. now I have nothing to do and no one to go out with coz I've pretty much covered everyone!
Mum: Hmm.. well, today is the day that you should reflect back on the past 21 years, and plan for the future..
Lina and me: ......... (silence)
Lina: Ma, she should do that when she turns 40, not now!

Rewinding a few hours ago, both mum and lina had a point.. and with mum's words in mind.. today also marks the day I have created this "blog".. I have yet to attach my definition to the term "blog".. Have no idea where this "blog" of mine will take its course.. Hell, I may not write anything at at all! but well.. there is a first for everything.. and perhaps, a year from this date and/or the day I turn 40,(provided both this "blog" and moi live to that date!), I would have several pieces to look back and reflect upon..